Our DNA is divine. The divine indwelling is never earned by any behavior whatsoever or any ritual, but only recognized and realized, and fallen in love with. When you are ready, you will be both underwhelmed and overwhelmed at the boundless mystery of your own humanity. You will know you are standing under the same waterfall of mercy as everybody else and receiving an undeserved radical grace, which waters the “roots” of everything.
Without that underlying experience of God as both abyss and ground, it is almost impossible to live in the now, in the fullness of who I am, warts and all, and almost impossible to experience the Presence that, paradoxically, both fills the abyss and shakes the ground.